First date tips for the mens

I’m likely a bit older than the mens on the board. Here’s what I’ve learned. I’ll probably get flamed but I’ll live:

-you must ask her out. This may be the 21st century where women are more empowered and liberated but 99% of women expect the mens to make the first move.

-you must plan the date. Women prefer mens to take control and lead, the only thing you should ask her is for food allergies.

-please dress well. I get that most American mens are slobs who don’t know how to dress themselves but please show some sartorial effort because I guarantee that the woman will put a lot of effort into how she looks for the date.

-you must pay. I don’t care who asked who, who initiated what, but mens should pay for the first date. Women want mens who are protectors and providers and an easy way to show that you are is to pay for dates.

-nothing expensive or extravagant for the first date. No Morton’s or Ruth’s Chris because you will seem like a try hard. Pick someplace classy but not too much. Oh and nothing heavy like Thai, Mexican, or Italian food and no restaurants where you eat with your hands like Korean.

-the first 1-3 dates are the evaluation period for women. They are watching you like a hawk and coldly evaluating everything you say and do. Watch your table manners, use proper English (no meme speak), treat the service staff with respect, etc. Oh and contrary to recent popular belief, women do not want to see your weird quirks or emotions on the first 1-3 dates. Don’t talk about your $100,000 Pokémon card collection or start crying about your dead dog or how mean your dad was to you.

-the first date is a high stakes poker game. Do not show your hand too early. Talk about yourself but hold back on your entire life story. Women like mysterious men and if she figures you out too early, she loses interest.

-follow the 60/40 rule. You talk 40% of the time, listen 60% of the time, and pay close attention to what she says. Women like to talk about themselves and this will save you the hassle of devising new topics.

-follow the “not too much” rule. Compliment her… but not too much. Make eye contact with her… but not too much. Try to make her laugh… but not too much. If it’s going well, initiate physical contact… but not too much.

-do not plan the second date during the first date. Women like the excitement of the pursuit and chase and it never hurts to leave them wondering if you like them (but this only works if they like you). Like Seinfeld said, always leave them wanting more. Don’t be too eager, needy, desperate or available, do the second date the next weekend at the earliest.

If this thread is well received, I will post a follow up with green and red flags that mens should watch for.

Lifted right out of 70s Archie comics

@GalvatronType_R: sorry man not trying to be a jerk but this reads like some sort of no-fap post on how to score a lot of chicks that was adapted from a guide about, well....common sense in social interactions in general. Most of it is common sense that applies to most interactions with people.

I half expect "Magnolia's" Tom Cruise to jump out at any minute.

right? 😂😋

@mrbojangles25:

Make sure you keep a magnum condom in your wallet, and to drop your wallet in front of her. Preferably she'll pick it up for you. She'll be more likely to notice it. It's also polite which is a huge plus.

@SOedipus said:

Make sure you keep a magnum condom in your wallet, and to drop your wallet in front of her. Preferably she'll pick it up for you. She'll be more likely to notice it. It's also polite which is a huge plus.

So, funny story from a few years ago.

I have very large hands. Sometimes the pockets in the pants and shorts I wear are small, so when I get my hand in there, it takes some effort to pull it out.

Anyway, me and my friends are going out for drinks. I stop at the corner store to get some smokes, and get some condoms as well since I was out, and I am ever the optimist. I put the box in my pocket and head to the bar, essentially forgetting about it.

A few drinks later we are all sitting at a table on a busy Saturday and I reach in to my pocket to get my wallet, except when I pull my huge hand out of my small pocket, I had to use a lot of force.

Well, the condoms somehow caught with my hand and I end up throwing condoms way up high into the air as I forced my hand out. They went all over the table in front of like 20 people. It was like a condom confetti parade. I had to walk around the whole table, picking up the condoms in front of everyone, and accepting the condoms back from people that were nice enough to pick them up for me.

@girlusocrazy: ugh, that's so cringe. And I hate using the word "cringe" lol

Also, bring your best horse. Girls love fancy horses, don't go cheap on some donkey.

Man, I loved Archie comics when I was a kid. Great art! Reminds me there is a zombie Archie series. Video spoilers:

@mrbojangles25 said:

@SOedipus said:

Make sure you keep a magnum condom in your wallet, and to drop your wallet in front of her. Preferably she'll pick it up for you. She'll be more likely to notice it. It's also polite which is a huge plus.

So, funny story from a few years ago.

I have very large hands. Sometimes the pockets in the pants and shorts I wear are small, so when I get my hand in there, it takes some effort to pull it out.

Anyway, me and my friends are going out for drinks. I stop at the corner store to get some smokes, and get some condoms as well since I was out, and I am ever the optimist. I put the box in my pocket and head to the bar, essentially forgetting about it.

A few drinks later we are all sitting at a table on a busy Saturday and I reach in to my pocket to get my wallet, except when I pull my huge hand out of my small pocket, I had to use a lot of force.

Well, the condoms somehow caught with my hand and I end up throwing condoms way up high into the air as I forced my hand out. They went all over the table in front of like 20 people. It was like a condom confetti parade. I had to walk around the whole table, picking up the condoms in front of everyone, and accepting the condoms back from people that were nice enough to pick them up for me.

Dude, that's just an alpha move!

I think it's great to keep an open mind but to set up rules as well, like what types of first dates you will not do.

For me, I don't to movie first dates, or anything that is too distracting. I find a first date that's distracting for both parties rather defeats the purpose of the first date.

To me a first date should be the most casual date. You should not have to shoot for the moon for this phase of dating, and in a way it serves as a test to the girl to see whether or not she is shallow and looking for other things. Fancy dates come later if the first date works out and you continue on.

In my experience, at least the good women appreciate and respect men that hold and maintain standards of their own, not just dudes that poke sticks through any fence hole.

@mrbojangles25 said:

@SOedipus said:

Make sure you keep a magnum condom in your wallet, and to drop your wallet in front of her. Preferably she'll pick it up for you. She'll be more likely to notice it. It's also polite which is a huge plus.

So, funny story from a few years ago.

I have very large hands. Sometimes the pockets in the pants and shorts I wear are small, so when I get my hand in there, it takes some effort to pull it out.

Anyway, me and my friends are going out for drinks. I stop at the corner store to get some smokes, and get some condoms as well since I was out, and I am ever the optimist. I put the box in my pocket and head to the bar, essentially forgetting about it.

A few drinks later we are all sitting at a table on a busy Saturday and I reach in to my pocket to get my wallet, except when I pull my huge hand out of my small pocket, I had to use a lot of force.

Well, the condoms somehow caught with my hand and I end up throwing condoms way up high into the air as I forced my hand out. They went all over the table in front of like 20 people. It was like a condom confetti parade. I had to walk around the whole table, picking up the condoms in front of everyone, and accepting the condoms back from people that were nice enough to pick them up for me.

balla move. dennis would approve

@mrbojangles25 said:

@SOedipus said:

Make sure you keep a magnum condom in your wallet, and to drop your wallet in front of her. Preferably she'll pick it up for you. She'll be more likely to notice it. It's also polite which is a huge plus.

So, funny story from a few years ago.

I have very large hands. Sometimes the pockets in the pants and shorts I wear are small, so when I get my hand in there, it takes some effort to pull it out.

Anyway, me and my friends are going out for drinks. I stop at the corner store to get some smokes, and get some condoms as well since I was out, and I am ever the optimist. I put the box in my pocket and head to the bar, essentially forgetting about it.

A few drinks later we are all sitting at a table on a busy Saturday and I reach in to my pocket to get my wallet, except when I pull my huge hand out of my small pocket, I had to use a lot of force.

Well, the condoms somehow caught with my hand and I end up throwing condoms way up high into the air as I forced my hand out. They went all over the table in front of like 20 people. It was like a condom confetti parade. I had to walk around the whole table, picking up the condoms in front of everyone, and accepting the condoms back from people that were nice enough to pick them up for me.

They must have been magnums. Went up and beyond.

I've learned this over time with experience. I'm still single, turning 30 in January, and still without a wife and children. If I never do, I'm content with it, but that doesn't mean it's not a desire within me.

One thing I've learned and would let the younger men know is that your musculature is sexually appealing to a woman, but it's not the thing that's going to keep her attracted to you. It's only the past five years where I've been a natural body builder, but I didn't do it to get the girl, strictly for myself. It does help as it's appealing to some woman, if not most woman, but ultimately your personality will play a huge factor into her wanting to have a relationship. I get woman asking me if I'm single and when I say yes, they say they're surprised.

@SOedipus said:

@mrbojangles25 said:

@SOedipus said:

Make sure you keep a magnum condom in your wallet, and to drop your wallet in front of her. Preferably she'll pick it up for you. She'll be more likely to notice it. It's also polite which is a huge plus.

So, funny story from a few years ago.

I have very large hands. Sometimes the pockets in the pants and shorts I wear are small, so when I get my hand in there, it takes some effort to pull it out.

Anyway, me and my friends are going out for drinks. I stop at the corner store to get some smokes, and get some condoms as well since I was out, and I am ever the optimist. I put the box in my pocket and head to the bar, essentially forgetting about it.

A few drinks later we are all sitting at a table on a busy Saturday and I reach in to my pocket to get my wallet, except when I pull my huge hand out of my small pocket, I had to use a lot of force.

Well, the condoms somehow caught with my hand and I end up throwing condoms way up high into the air as I forced my hand out. They went all over the table in front of like 20 people. It was like a condom confetti parade. I had to walk around the whole table, picking up the condoms in front of everyone, and accepting the condoms back from people that were nice enough to pick them up for me.

They must have been magnums. Went up and beyond.

You would think so, but no 😥😋

@horgen said:

@mrbojangles25 said:

@SOedipus said:

Make sure you keep a magnum condom in your wallet, and to drop your wallet in front of her. Preferably she'll pick it up for you. She'll be more likely to notice it. It's also polite which is a huge plus.

So, funny story from a few years ago.

I have very large hands. Sometimes the pockets in the pants and shorts I wear are small, so when I get my hand in there, it takes some effort to pull it out.

Anyway, me and my friends are going out for drinks. I stop at the corner store to get some smokes, and get some condoms as well since I was out, and I am ever the optimist. I put the box in my pocket and head to the bar, essentially forgetting about it.

A few drinks later we are all sitting at a table on a busy Saturday and I reach in to my pocket to get my wallet, except when I pull my huge hand out of my small pocket, I had to use a lot of force.

Well, the condoms somehow caught with my hand and I end up throwing condoms way up high into the air as I forced my hand out. They went all over the table in front of like 20 people. It was like a condom confetti parade. I had to walk around the whole table, picking up the condoms in front of everyone, and accepting the condoms back from people that were nice enough to pick them up for me.

Dude, that's just an alpha move!

No, the alpha move would have been to look every woman in the eye as I picked up the condoms and been like "Hey, bay-bee! Wanna do it!?".

All sound guidelines, OP. I approve and would love that follow-up w/ the flags.

A tip that sounds really goofy/dumb, but make some brief notes after the date to jot down things noteworthy that was discussed or that she shared. It's easy to forget little things, often times she will forget that she told you that she always to do..."blah, blah, blah." Easy way to score points and always have a good gift/joke/date/conversation up your sleeve.

Take it out.

Just tell her you post on an Internet forum where you debate with people about whose video game system is better.

Thanks, mate. Will do :)

One question, though, about the days leading up to the date... Is it better to send her ambiguously flirty messages when you know she's alone, or rather when she's bound to be with her husband/ fiancé/ boyfriend, (e.g. mealtimes or before bed)?

My guess is the one feels more immediately sneaky and illicit, while the other's likely to trigger jealous and controlling behaviour from him, making you appear relatively desirable and fun. Which should we be shooting for here?

Thanks in advance!

@warmblur: one of these days I'm going to rewatch that show, Seinfeld. It's so great. I watched a lot of it, but mostly as a young kid so I wasn't really aware of all the jokes and I never saw it from the beginning.

Yeah, there's so many classics even one video game related that you probably of seen where George bought a Frogger arcade machine.

Thanks for the tips. I went on two first dates last week. There was one that went really well (lasted for 3 hours full of chatting, smiles and laughter), but I am sad that she hasn't replied back to my messages a few days after the date.

She was lovely and I liked her... a lot.

@omegamaster: There has to be that spark. Sometimes you can get along with someone and still not feel romantic, and with all of the set up expectations and feeling on the spot of a date, it could be a misfire. That kind of thing can still develop. If you remain friends with someone there could still be a chance down the road. Even if they go out with other people first. You could still develop a strong bond that matures over time.

But also by making friends with people you get along with, you expand your network. If you have much in common, you may also have much in common with their friends. They might introduce you to others that you could end up going out with. A lot of good relationships start in unexpected ways.

@girlusocrazy: You made a valid point there. I am going to throw a new years message as a last-ditch effort. And if she blanks me again on Instagram, it's probably over :'(

I would be happy if we stuck with being friends (at the bare minimum) and see where it pans out going forward. It's been over a week since our date and I can't stop thinking about her. I have only been on a few dates in my lifetime, and she was the best of the bunch by a country mile.

To sum up all that garbage.....just be yourself.....if you have one of course........that's all that matters if you are on a REAL date.